Reminiscent of that time in our not-so-long-ago political history when the former President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo was subjected to all forms of funny caricatures after the scandalous disclosures of massive electoral fraud that hauled her to a second term of the presidential seat, now again the country’s political atmosphere is replete with the “sound and fury” of ridicules and all forms of satires directed at President Noynoy Aquino. Songs and poesies and artful discourses are common recipes providing entertainment flavor in many anti-Aquino gatherings, rallies and fora, especially in specialized cultural presentations.
Here is a hilarious entertainment piece that purports to characterizes the state of mind and heart of the Number One citizen of this republic who is now the object of satirical literatures on account of the multifarious failures and blunders of his governance. And these are not just fanciful thoughts or wild farcical creations of wordsmiths and literary artists. This manifest show of irreverence is an offshoot of the people’s loss of trust and respect for his regime. And this is borne out by the latest satisfaction and approval ratings of his kapalpakans which shows a steep plunge to unprecedented levels.
The Mamasapano Tragedy was only the latest and most grievous blunder in a series of misadventures the way President Noynoy has handled the affairs of government. From Day One of his presidency up to the present, concerned citizens have monitored the way he has conducted his leadership role. And this political season is the very point of his lowest stature in the popularity scale. It can be fairly said that his position is tottering . Another political misstep will surely cause his government to collapse.
But as it is, this is now a season of reckoning…a season of reproof…a season of judgment. . .a season of literary celebrations that purport to characterize the central and major characters of the political drama of our society.
And so, I take liberty in excerpting from a play some segments that render celebratory characterization of these major figures of Philippine political reality. What follows is the final scene of a musical play entitled Palasyo ng Katotohanan. . .
Showtime in the Palace
[Paghayag sa entabalado, manggawas ang Trio Los Fallacios nga nagdagan-sayaw. ang mga Ekstra manaka sa entablado. Magperform silag dance number nga sugdan og folk dance, pero mo-shift ngadto sa modern dance craze.]
VALTE:
Mga giliw na madlang pipol! Dis is the night of nights!
Maliwanag ang buwan! Ibig sabihin, the heavens
join us in the quest for Truth. . . It’s showtime. . .!
Right here in the Palasyo ng Katotohanan!
What can you say, Trumpet?
LACIERDA: Yes! And not only for Truth…but also for Justice! Alam naman natin kung anong ginagawa ngayon ng Secretary of Justice na si
Madam Bukambibig Delima. Nagpunta siya personally doon sa `
Mamasapano. Daladala niya ang Truth & Justice!
At ikaw, Saks. di ba alam na alam mo ang actuations ng DSWD
Sectretary— si Madam Dinkadora Soliman?
COLOMA: Oh! Dat’s right pardners! We are showered with the Pope’s blessing!
We implement his policy of mercy and compassion. We dig for sincerity and transparency in all our projects, programs and actions. Dat’s right Trumpet, our President really go for
Honesto, yong teleserye ng honest na young kid?
VALTE: Yaboo! Oh, hindi na natin patagalin pa! Narito na.., !
Mga kapartido at mga kaalyado . . .!
Ang kamangha-mangha! Kahanga-hanga!
At pinaka matapat na pinuno ng bayan!
Walang iba. . kundi— ang bukod-tanging
Ubod ng katapatan!—ang pinakamamahal nati-i-i-i-i-ng
Pinuno ng Bansang Pinas—Presidente Noynoy Kuyakoy!
[Mo-sound ang trumpet para sa royal entrance. Manipis na palakpakan. Mogawas nga nagkaang-kaang si Pres. Noynoy Kuyakoy, flanked by DILG Sec. Mar Hugas-kamay Roxas, ug PNP Gen. Tabi-Espina, magsunod sila OPAPP Sec. Deles, DSWD Sec. Soliman ug DBM Sec. Finger-Dirty Abad.
[Mag-kanya-kanya silag pakitang gilas sa ilang linaktan ug linihokan.]
PRES. NOYNOY [Mokanta] Presidente Blues
[Sa tonong Estudyante Blues]
Pag-upo ng pag-upo ko
Saksakang kritisismo
Palpak daw pagdumala
Hostage sa Luneta
Kapag nagpaliwanag
Bira pa rin ng bira
Ako’y walang ginawang tama
Parang nalilimutan
Wangwang nawala na
Kahit tuloy ang trapik
sa daang matuwid na
Sadyang kinalimutan
Natalsik si Corona
At Napoles ay nakulong pa
Pag ako’y nagtalumpati
Pinupuna palagi
Lagi daw sinisisi
Ang nagdaang Presidente
Alangan na man kasi
Iniwan niyang problema
Ramdam pa ng buong bansa
Kaya ang payo ko
Sa mga kritiko
Tumigil na kayo
Baka matulad kayo
Sa tres musketeero
Alam naman ninyo
Bayaning parents ko
Kaya di nyo mapatalsik ako. . .
Manatili ako dito
[Palakpakan. ang mga alipures ng Presidente. Sigawan ng “More! More!” ]
TRIO: Cheers! Cheers! Yan ang pinaka saktong
SHOWTIME SONA . . .!
SEC. SOLIMAN: Kantahin natin ang “Let’s hold On Together”!
SEC. ABAD: Oy, Huwag yan! Passe na yan! Ikaw, hindi ka talaga
natagam!
Panahon pa yan ng Glorieta Labandera. . .!
SEC. DELES: At ni Sarsaparilya Garci! Iba na ang hits ngayon oy!
Mamasapano Tragedy ang Now Showing ngayon,
my dear Senorita Amiga!
ROXAS: Tama! Mamasapano Tragedy! Ka-parallel yata iyan
sa tragedy ni Shakespeare—ang Macbeth . . .!
NOYNOY: Macbeth? Eh, wala akong asawa! Ni syota wala!
Sino ang aking magiging Lady Macbeth!
VALTE: [Aside]: Napaka tanga talaga ng Kuyakoy na ito!
Hindi man lang ako napapansin?
[Kalit lang moduol si Gen. Tabi-Espina kang Pres. NOYNOY, . .mosaludo. . .
dayon ipakita ang BOI Report]
GEN. ESPINA: Your Excellency, Sir. . . I have already here the
Report; of the Board of Inquiry.
PRES. NOYNOY: {Kanta} O, ano namang nakasaad sa Report na yan?
Ayos ba, Heneral? Ako ay ligtas ba?
GEN. ESPEINA: [Mokanta]
TRINITY
{Sa tonong “Yesterday” ng Beatles]
Trinity. . .Tatlong persons may liability
Dito sa Mamasapano Tragedy
Tatlo kayo. . .Kaya Trinity
Ang Presidente
ang may ultimate responsibility
Dahil di niya sinunod ang doktriney
na Chain of Command sa PNP
Gi-by pass ang DILG Secretary
ug akong Acting Chief sa PNP Instead he relied so much on a suspended
General Ave Maria Purisima…
O what a big anomaly!
That resulted in the tragedy. . .
PRES. NOYNOY: (Angry) No! I cannot accept that preposterous essay!
As I have said already, The SAF Director Napenas
is the culprit—he alone is responsible, accountable
liable and guilty!
This report is entirely wrong! I have no culpability
whatsoever! Neither is my beloved buddy buddy
General Ave Maria Purissima!
Itong si Napenas–Binola niya ako! Twice!
Thrice pa sana! Mabuti na lang matalino ako!
Pero naka-cause talaga ng kahihiyan—Tsk Tsk. ..
(Mokanta) Woe is me, Shame and scandal in the family.
GEN. ESPINA: Sir, what shall we do? This report has been made
public already.
PRES.NOYNOY: Trumpet! Sax! Violin! Do your very best
to play your music well! This is the time that
you manifest your special talents and skills!
Oh my G! Sana nandito si Kris Baby!
[Mokalit og siyagit:]
I want the BOI Chairman Magalong
summoned to the palace, right away!
SEC. ROXAS: Ako ang mag-summons sa kanya, Mr. President.
Ngayundin. . .Tutuloy na ako.
GEN. ESPINA: Huwag mo akong iwan. Dapat sama tayo palagi—
DILG Sec at PNP Chief. . .! Babay everybody!
[Pa-Exit na sana ang dalawa. . .nang silay mapatigil dahil….]
SEC. ABAD: Teka muna! Dapat kumilos tayo nang mabilisan!
Sa tingin ko Dapat mag-release tayo ng funds from the DAP!
Kailangan natin ng bribe money para hindi magpulasan
ang ating mga ka-Fraternity. . .!?
TANAN: Ooooh! Very good timing. . .Secretary Abad!
SEC. ABAD: Ako. . .bihira lang ako magsalita. Pero, I can let money speak!
Money speaks louder than words and actions, mind you!
Ganun din ang ginawa ni Glorieta noon, akala nyo?
[Lingo-lingo lang ang Presidente. Duolon ni Deles ug Soliman. Huwap-huwapon ni Deles ang agtang niya samtang i-massage ni Soliman iyang buko-buko.]
Mao pag-abot ni DOJ Sec. Bukambibig Delima, dagan-sayaw sa pag dinali]
SEC. DELIMA: Listen every body. I have something to impress
on the mind and heart of the whole nation.
So far. . .this is my wisest personal theorization
and my most brilliant professional opinion. . .
[Mokanta sa tune na “Magellan Song” ni Yoyoy Villame]]
In January twenty-five Twenty Hundred Fifteen
When the Mamasapano tragedy was happenin
Sabi ng mga Tukanalipao residents
Dey saw a little white airplane flying flying
Above their houses in the heaven
Seven days before the incident
And also on the day of da tragedy
When forty-four of our SAF were fallen
Dey also saw together with the fallen
A white man with very long nose and blue eyes
And so our Noynoy can escape liability. . .
And blame the Americans very ugly
[Magsulti] It is my bright opinion that our President
has no liability, accountability or responsibility
in the Oplan Exodussimus. It is the Americans
who did the planning , the surveillance and the
execution of the entire operation.. .!
It was an illegal surgical intervention. . .!
PRES. NOYNOY: [Mokatawag hilaw}
Nandiyan ka naman! Hindi lagi pwede isangkot
ang mga Americans sa kahit anong liability!
Kung pwede pa, e matagal ko nang isiniwalat yan!
[Mokanta sa tonong “Don’t Blame me”]
Di pwedeng isangkot ang mga Kano
Alam nyo naman di ko pwedeng tanggihan
kung anong kanilang gusto! Delikado,
ako rin ang mapahamak dito.
Mas mabuti pa idiin nang husto si Napenas!
Siya rin naman ang dahilan nitong lahat…..
SEC. DELIMA: Well, der is another palusot — Da Chain of Command
cannot apply here, because the PNP is a civilian
organization ! Dat’s my brilliant opinion. . .!
PRES. NOYNOY: Dat will not hold water, ayon kay ex-President Tabako Ramos!
[Pause]
Maiipit talaga ako dito. Por la vida! Purissisima!
Never in my wildest tintinnabulation!
That I will fall into the pit of ululation !
Hindi ko ubos-maisip itong kasawian!
[Galit ]
Itong Napenas talaga ang pahamak!
Salbahis na Napenas yan!
Makukulong ako nito!
SEC. ROXAS: [Sa tonong “Dandansoy Inom Tuba aloy”]
Don’t worry! Hindi ka namin iwanan.
Doon sa kangkongan ng sawing kasaysayan. . .
Aba’y .,Walang iwanan! One for all, all for One!
Magsasama tayong lahat sa kulungan
Kung sakali mang ika’y makukulong talaga
Matapos kang sa Malakanyang ay bumaba
Kung ako rin naman ang magiging pangulo
Ipa-pardon kita agad katulad ni Erap. . .
Kung meron mang maghain ng impeachment
Majority pa rin naman mga Frat members natin
Aba’y walang tayong kurat, Magwawagi tayong lahat
Basta’t katotohanan huwag ipagtapat! (Ay, mali. . .!)
[Murag nangaluya ang tanan. Dili mahimutang ang Presidente. . . Sa isang sulok, ang Trio Los Fallacious ay busy sa pag-devise ng paraan para ma-salvage ang emergency situation. . .Bigla na lang silang pupuwesto sa gitna…kakaway-kaway sa odyens. Listo naman ang mga Ekstra sa pag-back-up sa kanila.]
TRIO: Let us not despair!
The show must go on!
Let’s face the music!
Everybody sing and dance !
Cheer up everyone! Hahaha . . .!
[Mokanta ug mosayaw ang tanan, including the President. . .]
Huling Baraha
[Sa tono ng “Coconut Woman”]
Cheer up, yellow babies!
Mayro’on pang pag-asa
Meron pa tayong huling baraha
Mag-release si Abad,
ng dami-daming money
Mula sa DAP ng Presidentey
Pang-bribe sa mga kongresista, [Bribery!]
Mga senador at senadora [Bribery!]
Bibigyan din ang mga pamilya [Cajolery!]
Ng mga nasawing tropa [Cajolery!]
Bah babababa bababa
babababa bababa . . . (2x) [Huling Baraha!]
Panlubay-loob sa mga pamilya Sa mga anak at mga naging biyuda
Para hindi sila magprotesta
At gaganda ang buhay nila
Hindi kasamang MILF [Kawawa!}
Walang matatanggap na relief [Wala talaga!]
Lalo na ang BIFF [Lalo na!}
Pagkat sila’y terorista [Terorista!]
Bah babababa bababa
babababa bababa (2x) [Huling baraha!]
Hindi na uobra ang magtuturuan
Lalo’t hindi ang kasinungalingan
Ito’y emergency situation
Bribery lang ang da only option
Ito’y mainam na medicine [Medisine. . .!]
Sa naghihingalong rehimen [Rehimen. . .!]
Lah lalalala lalala
lalalala lalala (2) [Huling Baraha. . .!]
[REPEAT FROM START]
KODA: Lalalala lalalala lalala [Bribery. . .!]
Lalalala lalalala lalala [Huling baraha. . .!]
[REPEAT → FADE OUT]
– CURTAIN –
