DAVAO CITY, Philippines -When one looks at the recent Pride march of the LGBTQIA+ during the Davao DUAW celebration, one assumes the community has been positive and vibrant in their calls for acceptance. But that hides the deeper truths.
Members of the LGBTQIA+ tell Davao Today that coming out and finding acceptance within family and community is still a challenge across generations.
Temme, a 38-year-old trans woman, talks about her own hard journey to self-acceptance.
Even though her parents seemed to just know she was different from an early age, making a formal “come out” unnecessary, fitting in and being her true self during her high school years was definitely hard. “Lisod gyud siya (It was difficult),” she said about quietly facing the difficulties in those teenage years.
But, Temme still feels a strong belief in the community’s inner strength. “Generally, the LGBT people, the members of the community are twice as resilient as the so-called straight people, I believe,” Temme states firmly, “We have to fight twice as hard against discrimination.”
She understands that facing unfair treatment day after day builds a unique kind of toughness. To fight against these wrong and harmful ideas about their community,
Bonnie, a 35-year-old gay man who embraced his identity in his teens, vividly remembers a time being wrapped in fear.
“Actually, before, maraming mga LGBT member na takot pag ilabas yung mga kasarian nila (many LGBT member were afraid to reveal their true gender),” he said.
What bothered him was the biting sting of judgment that boxed gays into stereotypes. “Mostly ‘di naman natin maiiwasan na (We can’t avoid that) there is a lot of criticism ug discrimination. Pag bayot kay pineperahan lang, at mga immoral. Parang sa tingin nila masama kami (They think being gays means always out for money, and being immoral. They think we are evil) which is not true.” This constant battle against unfair labels often left them feeling misunderstood and hurt.
But even through those tough years, Bonnie carries no regrets. “Actually, I never feel any regret because it is our own way to express what we are and what we wanted to be,” he said.
Bonnie firmly believes that LGBTQIA+ people are “very strong” and “palaban talaga ‘yung mga bakla. At saka mga bread winner talaga (Gays are fighters, and are breadwinners),” recognizing the hard work and strength many in the community show as providers for their families.
On the other hand, the younger generation of the city’s LGBTQIA+ , such as lesbians Ina, 26, and Kyl, 22, shared a more positive experience.
Their personal coming-out stories unfolded slowly, like Ina’s quiet moment of understanding rather than making a big, dramatic announcement. “Ah, okay. Ganito pala ako (This is how I am),” she remembered saying.
Despite the negativity in social media, Ina and Kyl see it as a helpful platform in understanding oneself.
“I think because (there are many people posting) like very open about LGBT community kasi very relevant na yung topic,” Ina explains how it creates a bigger space for openness and shared experiences.
Yet, this newfound openness also brings a new kind of weakness. “Kasi mas open din sa criticism or sa discrimination,” Ina admits, showing how being more visible in the world can be a mixed blessing, exposing them to more hateful comments.
Even Temmu shared the same view. “I think it’s twice as hard because you have to really prove yourself given (that) there is the social media and the pressure from peers and the society,” she observed.
But Temme points out that “education is the key” to impart knowledge and understanding to one’s community about LGBTQIA awareness. This she believes can help people overcome biases so that the community can truly “live our authentic selves.”
Bonnie also says theirs is an unshakeable will that will fight. Then there is their unifying call to pass the Sogie Equality Bill, long being lobbied in Congress, which seeks to end discrimination against sexual orientation, identity and expression in public and in workplaces.
The battlefields might change through the decades —from direct, clear discrimination in the past to the constant pressures of being seen and judged online today—the basic struggle for the LGBTQIA+ community in Davao remains — their want for respect, dignity, and full acceptance that keeps them pushing forward.(davaotoday.com)
LGBTQIA+, SOGIE
